


Mr. Right

by Magellan88



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mr. Right (2015 Cabezas), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Protective Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15721860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magellan88/pseuds/Magellan88
Summary: Bucky's a Hitman with quirks, Megan is a quirky woman who's been suppressing herself. Here's what happens when these two meet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> None of these characters are mine. I do hope you enjoy my borrowing them.

Most kids, when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, said the normal things. Some kids wanted to be an astronaut, maybe a lawyer or policeman or something like that.  
Megan however, she wanted to be a T-Rex. And no one would stop he.  
*20 years later*  
Megan always a quirky person but this man made her want to be normal. So she’d spent the afternoon cooking and cleaning his house for him. She attempted, and failed at taking some sexy photos.  
Who knew her boobs looked like a butt.  
They'd had been together for at least at year, yet, when she was in his home & cooking for him. Nothing felt right.  
Suddenly he burst in with another woman wrapped around him.  
They laughed as they fell onto the table, she looks over and sees Megan, they both freeze before climbing from the table and coming over to her.  
He actually had the balls to try and turn this into a threeway. Megan gently removed her beautifully polished hand from her thigh and stand, grabbing the wine bottle as she headed to the door.  
“This is what I'm talking about Megan! You've got no sense of adventure!!“  
Megam can't even respond, she simply threw the wine bottle, she could hear it hit something solid but doesn’t look back to see what it was, she just wants to go home.  
Across town, Bucky stands before a five star hotel. He grins walking inside, he enters the elevator dancing as it brings him to his appointment.  
He dances his way to the room. He knocks on the door, grinning as she answers.  
“Hey, Sharon, hi.” He smiles brightly “is that Chanel? I liike it.”  
She appears confused “are you with the hotel?”  
“No, actually I'm supposed to be in Milwaukee killing your husband before he can take your half of the firm. That's what this is about right?” he smiles putting on a clown nose.  
She is taken aback “well if you're here, why are you not there?”  
“Murder's wrong Sharon.” He states obviously.  
“But you're a hitman..” She looks rather confused.  
“Nobody's perfect.” He replies very simply before shooting her. Giving a two toned whistle as he put his gun away. Another successful job.  
Outside in an unmarked van, a team is gearing up for a fight. Each one talking about how they're going to win easily.  
“Don't let him start doing that shit he does. The fucking dancing.”  
Another waves his gum slightly “that's right, dance party's fucking canceled!”  
The group climbs from the van, the last one turns to the oldest man. “Hey Rumlow, you coming?”  
The man stands from his chair “nope, I'm sorry. I'm not coming. I thought you all were professionals. But, ya know, have fun. Someone's got to return the van after he kills you all.”  
They clearly think he's joking and head inside, Rumlow stands before the whiteboard. He marks them off one by one as their target dances through the room taking each out in turn.   
*Bucky's POV*  
Bucky can't help thinking what a shame it is that these assholes decided to attack in this beautiful banquet hall. It had been set up for a wedding. He ducks behind the wedding cake watching mournfully as it's shot to hell and back.  
He grabs the serving knives and throws them, easily taking out one merc and injuring the last. He appears behind the last man giving his two toned whistle again before taking the man out with a fire extinguisher.  
He gazes around the room before leaving “this would've been such a nice wedding.”  
Outside in the van Rumlow puts away his marker as he talks to himself “well that was fun...ish.” He shrugs and leaves to return the van.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megan deals with the aftermath of her break-up while Rumlow continues hunting.

Drunk closet, Megan had been reduced to drunk closet.  
She hadn't done this since college and unfortunately it left her friends Michelle & Suz with the unpleasant job of coaxing her ass out of said closet as she threatened to fist the hussies, insulted Suz, calling her racist and weird smelling before immediately apologizing. Megan really didn't think that, she loved her, but she was hurt.  
She'd only been drinking for two days! This was her home now!!  
In the end, their stubborn sanity won out and Megan exited her temporary home and showered. After that, she once again felt somewhat human.  
In celebration of Megan re-entering into the world of semi sane people, she decided they deserved a night of fun.  
Megan struts into the kitchen and toss the keys straight into Michelle's face.  
“Oh! What the fuck?!!”  
“What if that was a bullet? Training Megan. Guys, we're young and free! We should like, find a block party, or something. We should like, we should find something with a contest. Right? For our bodies. Where, we show, like our boobs or something”  
Megan tried to ignore their exchanged looks before continuing.  
“This is new Orleans, we should go have fun!! I wanna do something, I wanna do something terrible”  
Megan somehow managed to convince them to head to a bar. Megan come back with three drinks, Suz looks at Megan incredulously.  
“What is this?”  
“This is a sex on the beach for my Michelle and a pina colada but I drank it, so now, it's an empty cup for my Suzie Q. “  
Michelle takes a long sip from her drink “Jesus Christ.”  
Megan gasp “oh, is he here?! I KNEW this was a good bar! I'm gonna go check it out!”  
Megan run to the dance floor leaving Michelle and Suz to once again trade a look of concern at Meganr craziness.  
They eventually left when Megan's thoughts hit her again and Megan hastily leave the club messing with her phone.  
Suz begins smacking Michelle's arm and whisper yelling that Megan's texting. Michelle immediately steps in front of Megan.  
“Who are you texting?”  
“Nobody...what if I text him that I'm pregnant? Is there a pregnant emoticon? Like, pregnant. What if I text him that I'm dying? What if I text him that he's dying BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MURDER HIM!!!”  
Michelle quickly snatches her phone. “Ok, you're like the little engine that could, that ran off the tracks. I'm stopping this train! No more.”  
“I'm sorry Michelle, I am. I'm sorry, I don't know how this keeps on happening. Am I just, suckball McGee?”  
Michelle grabs Megan into her arms,  
“no, Megan're not suckball McGee, oh c'mere. You're just, you're just a work in progress babe. Tell ya what, why don't you come to work with me tomorrow? You can play with the cats.”  
Megan squeals “oh I love the cats!!”  
“And they love you babe.”  
They trade meows as Suz gives Michelle crazy eyes over Megan's shoulder, the poor darlin was trying so hard to keep some sanity.  
*Across town*  
An automated voice comes from a phone,  
“in reference to asset 32557038, you have now been assigned a new identity. You are FBI agent Brandon Zemo from the Alabama field office. New Orleans pd is at your disposal. Rumlow, because of your personal relationship with the target, we remind you that failure will not be tolerated. Eliminating the target is now your top priority.”  
Rumlow cooly goes inside the New Orleans PD office to meet his new “partner” this should be simple.


	3. Meet cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our 2 psychos meet

There are cats screaming everywhere “is this supposed to be relaxing?” Megan can't help but wonder as she look around at the cats losing their shit all around her.  
“It normally is, you just make everything so crazy. And where did you get the cat ears? Those are for the kids!” Michelle is at a loss, you're everywhere.  
“I found them behind the counter & I feel fucking beautiful! Besides, you guys don't mind right? You're just the cutest!”  
She's completely descended into baby talk now and frankly, Michelle is concerned.  
“Megan, no. That's Johan, he's a fucking psycho killer. He'll fucking scratch your face off.”  
Megan gets closer to the cage “are you crazy? Are you crazy?”  
Michelle tries reasoning with her “ I wouldn't stand that close to the cage.”  
Unfortunately Megan doesn't listen as she opens the cage “this is a metaphor. This cat is my soul.”  
“It's not a metaphor.”  
“I need I confront this. We're gonna become best buddies.”  
Everything becomes a blur and the next thing you know, you're both sitting outside nursing some rather nasty cat scratches.  
“So in the metaphor, do you think I won or lost? Sorry, you really took the brunt of it. I really thought you'd have better reflexes after working with cats for so long. I mean it pissed right in your face. Do you think that's an evolutionary… “ you trail off at her silence.  
“It...it wasn't a metaphor Megan. I think you should go home.”  
“Really? Are ya sure?”  
“yeah, very sure.”  
“Ok, I'll see ya at home.” You get up and head for the corner market figuring you can get some bandages for your hand.   
You don't even see the man in the pastel blue pants and flowery shirt who stopped suddenly to stare at you. He quickly moves along before you look up having felt eyes upon you.   
You shake off the feeling and head to check out when you run straight into a broad chest. You're not a short woman, plus you're in heels, yet this man is taller. Y'all bump into each, your shoulder bumping a shelf full of condoms, sending them flying into the air.  
Your eyes try track them but only manage to catch one box. You look up to see that the man you'd run into is holding all of the boxes in his hands. He'd somehow caught everyone before they'd hit the ground.  
Your eyes widened “how'd you do that?”  
“He released a breath “this is a lot of condoms. There's enough condoms here to choke a goat.” He dropped everything onto the shelf as you looked at him curiously.  
“I'm sorry, what?”  
He shook his head running a hand through his hair “I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that...say, do you wanna get outta here?”  
“What?”  
“Is it creepy? Sorry, sometimes I can't tell. Do you wanna go on a date?”  
“Based on what? Based in nothing? Just….just go on a date?”  
“Well what else do you gotta do today?”  
“Fighting the urge to run away? Maybe?”  
He gives a cute little laugh “oh I'm actually the run to guy.”  
“Oh, from creepy guys like you?”   
“Oh, these guys wish they were creepy as me.” He leans in tapping his chest with a gloved hand as if going to tell you a secret. “International hitman.”  
You each make a silly face at each other  
“Gross, right? Come on, it's 3pm. what else do ya got to do today?”  
You raise your eyebrows “other than get killed by a cartoon character? Maybe a lot.” You give him a quick look up and down, noting his rather nice thighs before moving to the cashier.  
Suddenly someone slides up next to you and your eyes meet the same impossible blue from a few seconds prior.   
“Hey, was that cartoon character bothering you? Because I'll kick his ass.”  
You can't hold in a laugh before he asks what happened to your hand and you find yourself stumbling over your words and finally telling him that while you liked cats, this had been a rogue cat.  
He smiled slightly “yeah I'm more fun than a barrel of kittens, in a good way. Let's ditch this popsicle stand.” He pops on a red pair of sunglasses he'd removed from the display. “Let's go for it. Let's go on a date.”  
You give him a serious look “explain to me in two words, why I should go out with you.”  
He removes the glasses “two words? Umm, or else.” He gives you an exaggerated wink  
“Oh wow, that's yeah. That's really fucking creepy.”  
“So come on.” He places the glasses back on his face.  
“Aren't you gonna pay for those?”  
His eyes widen “didn't I? Oh, I didn't? Well ya caught me.” He quickly pays for his glasses & pulls you away from the store.  
You never did anything spontaneous, maybe it was time you started.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megan gets to know the mysterious dork she met in the store.

They grab hot dogs and lean against a rail, she soon realize that this man has no clue hot to eat a hotdog.  
“Hey buddy?”  
He hums looking at her with his mouthful.  
“You can't just...attack it from the bottom all willy nilly. You were doing fine before. Just, eat it like a normal, human man.”  
He scoffs “what are you a hot dog critic?”  
“Are you...are you new to eating?”  
He rolls his eye before pointing at her “Hey I like that shirt by the way.”  
She looks down at her unicorn shirt in total confusion “Oh, really?”  
“Yeah, it's confident. You gotta confidence thing.”  
She leans away slightly as her eyebrows shoot up “I...have a confidence thing?”  
“Yeah, like fuck everybody!” He turns to the people behind them ignoring her trying to shush him  
“Doesn't she seem confident?” She finally smack his arm “I'm sorry...he's a crazy person. I don't know him.”  
She turn back to him tipping her head slightly “I do? That's funny because this was kind of an ordeal. Like, every time I get dressed I have to ask myself what this says about me. Because I have stuff going on, in my head and my heart and I need my shirt, to reflect that.”  
He gives her an adorable face that kinda resembles a confused puppy “That's, kinda a lot of responsibility to put on a shirt.”  
“Yeah, I probably don't need to tackle the meaning of life every time I get dressed I guess.”  
He nods “I actually relate to that though.”  
“Oh, really?”  
“Yeah it takes forever every day for me to decide what to wear.”  
She looks him up and down again “Really? Because I thought this was, a terrible terrible accident.”  
He nods shrugging his shoulders “no this is a conscious decision, I'm completely fucking bananas.”  
She shakes her head unable to hold in a laugh “you're funny.”  
He grins “ehhh.” they finish their food and decide to go for a walk, they walk side by side through a park, families playing and picnicking all around them, as he asks questions about her and her life. “You didn't finish your story, about museums and digs and things.”  
“Oh that, it never happened. I met Justin, and it kinda became about him and his goals. He's a professor, though I guess I am if I honor my degree.”  
He nods sympathetically “so how'd he die?” She pause for a second “oh he's… He's not dead. He's just an asshole.”  
This time it's his eyebrows that are rising “oh!” She shrugs “I mean he wasn't at first, but then he kinda, Scooby-Doo style unmasked himself.” “Oh a secret asshole.”  
“Yeah, the worst. I think it's my selection process. Every guy I get attached to is secretly a...yeah.”  
He turns to her smiling “am I in trouble? Am I gonna..get asshole syndrome?” Megan giggle “oh but it's not a secret you're an asshole, so we're good”  
“Oh! Well, then we're fine.” he laughs before tugging her band “well if it's that then, why can't you fix it? Is that a question only dickheads can answer?”  
She laughs as they continue walking through the park. It's not long before the two of them land on her favorite subject, dragons. “Yeah, dragons. Because humans just wanna put a name on something to make them feel safe. But really what is a dinosaur, if not a dragon? Sorry, I feel like I've been talking about paleontology a lot. I don't know anything about you.” She smiles up at him, waiting for his answer.  
He shrugs “well that's too bad, I'm a fascinating and complex person.”  
“Is that right?”  
He pauses taking a breath “yeah, kind of, sort of.”  
She tip her head to look at him “so, what is it that you do?”  
“I travel a lot. I buy used cars,  
old cars, vintage cars. I travel, looking for cars. And I kill people, but not so much anymore.” “Oh, so you split your time.”  
“Yeah I -fuck!” He trips dodging a bullet from the sniper she's not noticed was watching the two of then. She reaches for his arm “Hey are you ok?”  
“Yeah I goddamnit!!” He grabs her hand and spins her away from him allowing the bullet to pass narrowly between her body and her bag, before he smoothly spins her back catching her against him with a hand at her hip.  
She smiles up at him slightly confused but amazed at how fluid he moved “what was that?” “Oh, just some..poopyhead, trying to kill me. You wanna shake him?”  
“sure, why not?”  
He smiles at her “maybe he was trying to kill you? Is there something you're not telling me?” She laughs looking at him over her shoulder, as they walk away adding an extra sway to her hips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out with the mystery dork, and a little peek at what our villains are up to..

He takes her dancing, she quickly see that he's a very accomplished dancer. He spins and moves them as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
They dance for hours until finally deciding to walk home. On the way they grab drinks and matching bitch 1 & bitch 2 shirts. They walk along beside the pool heading to your apartment as he tells her about himself.  
“I think my problem is that I have to be  
the best ever at everything that I do. Like if I'm picking out a suit or I'm waterboarding a terrorist or I'm... sure. Doing a souffle or being someone's boyfriend, I have to be the best ever at it. I think I'm just trying to take life more seriously these days. What's so funny?”  
Megan has a hard time answering at first, somewhere in the middle of all his talking, he's popped on a red nose clown and she's shaking with laughter at this adorable dork.  
“You're just, the corniest person I've ever met.”  
“I am? Shuck me.”  
“But number 1” she continues to laugh  
“Number 1? Well alright.” he takes her hand in his kissing it as the walk.  
“So then philosophically, you're opposed to casual sex…”  
“I usually do it naked, though I once dated a girl and we had formal sex. I had to wear a tuxedo.”  
“I'm sure that got really sweaty.”  
“It did, bowtie got all crooked.”  
She laughs shaking her head “that's so stupid.”  
“It's really stupid. I'm here every Tuesday, try the veal.”  
Megan plucks the clown nose from his face before wrapping her arms around his neck. She smiles at it “this is cute.”  
“You like that?”  
“Yeah.” She smiles looking into his eyes “hi.”  
“Hello, how are you?” He brushes her braids behind her ear. “You're cute, and that was corny.”  
“It was really corny, you're the worst.” they kiss slowly before heading inside, things heat up as they burst through the door and land on the couch still kissing. He somehow manages to not spill his drink before she pushes it away telling him to put it down. They're interrupted by Michelle wandering in from the kitchen with a snack. “Oh! Hello, stranger in our house.”  
Megan shoots up from the couch “oh hey buddy.”  
She pulls her new friend up “Hi.”  
Michelle looks sceptical “have we met?”  
“No, I'm the crazy guy the Megan met at the supermarket and now I know where you live-ahh!” He flails a bit as Megan Yanks him into her room & slams the door.  
Michelle stares at the door, “oookay.” She shakes her head and heads to her room trying to not wonder about her crazy friend.  
Bucky relaxes on the bed while Megan gets ready for bed, he looks up smiling at her robe, it's covered in dragons. “Wow! You really do like dragons don't you?”  
She smiles down at it “yeah, and bonus tigers.”  
He pats the bed next to him “why dontcha park those dragons over here?”   
She giggles and hops onto the bed next to him, she nervously plays with her Mardi Gras beads as she speaks “So, I should let you know I still feel, like, a little messed up over the, um...The... the other thing, previous thing. You know? “  
“Scooby doo?”  
“Yeah. So I still want you to stay, if you wanna stay though.”  
“Well.” He jumps up and begins jumping up and down “yeah….hang out to infinity!! I'm down!! Jumping on a bed. Yeeaaahh!!” He jumps one last time before landing down beside her. “Sorry, for being so jumpy. I'm just nervous, I think I like you.”  
They snuggle down and talk until they fall asleep.  
*on a bridge across town*  
Two men are talking while a third lays between them wrapped in plastic and rope.  
“You don't think that this is too much, do you?”  
“Nah. I still think we should've cut his head off though, you know? Turns up the volume.”  
“Johnny moon, you sick fuck. This is the beginning of a new era. Once we are back in Jersey, we're gonna be in charge. We're not gonna be stuck  
in this armpit of a city. No offense. I know you grew up here.”  
“No offense taken. I like you. You're not a smart guy. You're not a tough guy. But you make big calls and you got big balls. Getting clown nose to kill Richie so you can take over? Wow.This is a terrible fuckin' plan, but I believe in it. It's gonna be fun.”  
“Hey, check it out. Houdini here is still alive.”  
“Hey, Paco! You having a rough night, buddy?”  
“Huh? What? All right.”  
“Okay, let's get him up. Ready?”  
“All right. You ready?”  
“Yeah. One, two, three.”  
They toss him over the side of the bridge and watch him sink.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky takes an early morning stroll, while Michelle tries to talk some sense into her friend

Megan awakes the next morning in bed alone but there's a note from the man on his pillow, there's a purple bead necklace on top. She puts the necklace over her head and reads the note. He's told he bad some work to do but would see her later. He drew a cute little doodle of a T-Rex on it.  
She smiles softly as she reads, she puts the note away and goes to make breakfast.  
Outside, on the street, Rumlow sits in an unmarked police car watching as Bucky walks along. He stops to talk to an older man who's tap dancing on the sidewalk.  
Rumlows partner is looking through the case file, he turns to Rumlow before asking “How long you said you've been trackin' him?”  
Rumlow scratches his chin as he answers “FBI's been on him for 10 years, the CIA for 15. I've been running point for five.”  
“Why don't we just grab him right now? Lock up the street with snipers and SWAT?” He's confused, it's one man, what could be so hard about this case?  
Rumlow raises his eyebrows before asking “You really want to  
clean up that many bodies?”  
Bucky smiles brightly watching the man dance “yeah baby, I'm in love.” The man tips his hat as Bucky continues walking along.  
Back at Megan's house, Michelle attempts to talk some sense into her deranged friend. Megan is not feeling very supported despite having just made her friend an amazing breakfast.  
Michelle is losing it. “Are you kidding me?”  
“What? I used to make breakfast for you all the time.”  
“Yeah, in a microwave. That guy last night, he seemed really, like, fancy homeless.”  
Megan gasps out a laugh “Oh, my god. I just realized, I don't know his name.”  
“Who, Mr. right?”  
“Yeah. We were together for 10 hours. It never came up.”  
Michelle wants to shake her. “You slept with him and don't know his name?”  
“I did not sleep with him. Well, we slept together. We didn't have sex. We cuddled. It was adorable.  
Michelle is unsure what to do with this information. “Okay.”  
“I don't need a name for that.”  
Michelle tries again to reach her.  
“But still, he didn't tell you his name Martha, you're gonna just have to start recognizing these red flags.”  
Martha rolls her eyes. “Why? You think he's evil? Oh what if he is? You know, when I was little, I had this fantasy I was dating Lex Luthor.”  
“From superman? Wasn't he, like, a genius? Your guy's more like a sexy rain man or something.”  
Megan smiles as she flips the pancake. “Thank you.”  
Michelle shakes her head. “But I don't really think this is about him. I think you're just in an unstable time, and maybe you're just latching onto this guy because, you know, the first guy you meet…”  
Megan turns to smile at her friend  
“I think I'm in love with him. Is that stupid?”  
Michelle's eye go impossibly wide “Yes. Hard yes.”  
Megan gasps, she can't believe her right nos “What is that? I want support. I made you a pancake. You have to be nice.”  
“You're saying bat shit crazy things. I think you may be having an early midlife crisis.”   
They fall silent for a minute picking at the pancake  
“That doesn't sound like me.”  
“Hmm. Pretty good.”  
Megan bounces her way back to the stove “He just makes me feel…I don't know.Like you said, Mr. right.”  
Michelle rolls her eyes completely exasperated “Oh, my god.”  
Suddenly Megan perks up “Can you fry whip cream?”  
“Why not?”  
“Oh, what?!” she laughs and begins spraying whip cream into the frying pan.  
*at a diner in town*  
Romlow answers his phone and big surprise, it's the twice failed hitman “How come you're still alive?”  
“What are you doing, Rumlow?  
The company says you stopped checking in. What's your big plan?”  
“Well, I'm bringing him in.” He states obviously.  
“What the hell? He killed my whole fucking team! He's mine, and I'm taking him out.”  
Rumlow can hardly believe this moron. “Really?”  
‘You have a better idea?”  
“Always. Literally, always. I will always have a better idea than you. I know his weak spot. I trained him.”  
“So for now, we wait. Mmm. Yeah, like pussies, huh?”  
Rumlow is beyond done. “Yeah, okay. Like pussies. We're in a big pussy parade.”  
“Hey! I'm not in a pussy parade, all right? You watch your fuckin' mouth, Rumlow.”  
Rumlow hangs up just as his partner comes back. “That was the wife.”  
The man laughs holding up his left hand to show his ring. “I know what you mean. So what's the story on Rumlow?”  
“Who?”  
“Brock Rumlow. His name keeps coming up in the files. He used to work with our boy, right? Some sort of master of disguise, secret agent type dude. I didn't read the whole thing, but…”  
Rumlow nods slightly “of course you didn't. But if you had, you'd know that Rumlow’s been missing almost 12 years now. They worked together in the ultra program at the CIA. That went down in flames. End of story. Forget Rumlow. Let's focus on one psycho at a time.”  
His partner looks slightly unconvinced but agrees “alright.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night! Good company, good food, a murder. What more could a perfect date want?

That night Megan gets ready to see the man again. She hopes to learn his name tonight, if she doesn't get caught up in the amazing conversation she knows she's going to have with him.  
Talking is very easy, as long as she doesn't get lost in those cerulean eyes of his. Despite being incredibly handsome, he's very down to earth. She wants to know more.   
She pulls on her red dress, it's fitted to the waist, accenting every curve and flares out at the waist hitting at her knees. Checking her make-up one last time, Megan pulls on her black patent leather heels before tossing her long braids over her shoulder and heading out the door.   
Bucky is seated in the restaurant watching for her, he spots her first, losing his breath at how breathtaking she looked.   
Not that he was surprised at all, she took his breath away every time he saw her. He stands from his chair to call out to her “hey monster!”  
Megan walks to the table and he quickly stands to seat her in his chair before moving to the other side of the table. She tips her head sideways as she looks at him “did you just call me monster?”  
He gives a little laugh “yeah, it's like a nickname. Ya know Megan, megster, monster.”  
“Oh! Ok, worth noting that nicknames are supposed to happen organically.”  
He sits up a little “oh I can say it like, a thousand times in 10 minutes. Monster monster monster monster” he pauses to take a breath monster monster monster monster monster monster monster monster monster monster monster monster. “  
Megan finally interrupts him laughing at his antics “ok just Stockholm syndrome me.”  
He laughs again “I love that album.”  
“It's better than Margarete.”  
“Who's Margarete? Oh, I think Margarete is a swell middle name.  
“It is "swell." It is swell 'cause it's basically from 1935. And Megan Margarete, it's just a double menopause punch in the...Oh It's brutal.”  
“Hey, you wanna do, like, a role-play thing?”  
“Where I'm an old lady?*  
“Yeah, I could get into that. We could get a Walker, a cane.”  
“Actually, it's my sort-of dream to eventually be the old lady in the neighborhood that's like the crazy old lady, like crazy old Megan,  
and just have, like, messy white hair and, like, ratty clothes, and I just drive around all day dead-eyeing teenagers.”  
He smiles tenderly “That's awesome”.  
“It's, like... it's my dream.” she dips her head feeling a bit embarrassed.  
“I can't wait to be there for that. Hey, are you hungry? Excuse me, waiter? Can I?” He stops suddenly, recognizing the man from the hotel, he knew he should've done more than hit with a fire extinguisher. “…I'm sorry. I have to just go outside for a second. I'm really sorry.”  
He stands and downs his drink, he walks to the door nodding for the man to follow him. He holds his hands up in hopes of talking him down.  
“Hey buddy, here's the thing. I'm on a date, and I like this girl. Can't we do this tomorrow? I could kill you in a park, at the beach. Rent a cozy hotel room. I'd kill you there. We'll get a big fruit plate, hang out, hold hands.”  
Unfortunately, this idiot is too pissed at having been bested twice, now he's set on a fight.“Fuck you, bitch.” he pulls a gun, pointing it directly at Bucky's chest. Bucky catches it, twisting it so it's fired into the empty lot. He pulls the guy close with his arm at his neck as he spins the their bodies and shoves him to the ground. He quickly disarms the gun, tossing it aside.  
“Are we done?” He turns to go back inside.  
“Where the fuck you going, pussy?  
I'm gonna kill you and your fucking bitch. You heard me.”  
Bucky turns back, certain he'd heard wrong. “What?”  
“You fucking heard me. Come get some.”  
Bucky's head drops back with a groan, he really doesn't want to do this right now.  
“Maan. Why'd you have to go and threaten her? That's not a nice thing to say. All right. Give me a second.”  
He stretches slowly, bringing his leg up behind him and holding it for a few seconds. He does a few slides ending on a spin.  
“Yeah, come on, Princess. Let me know when you're comfortable.” He draws a knife, he slashes repeatedly only to be blocked by Bucky's hands and elbows every time. He's growing frustrated.  
Bucky spins, kicking the knife away in the process. The man reaches for the back of his pants and draws out two more knives. “Let's go, bitch!”  
He stabs towards Bucky who catches the backs of his hands, he spins them, manipulating the guys body as he moves. “Hurts, don't it?”  
“Aaah!” the man cries out as the blades rest crossed at his neck. Bucky lifts them and they spin again landing with Bucky's chest to the would be assassins back and his arms surrounding him. A man on his cellphone stumbles out the door, stopping short when he spots them.  
“Whoa. Okay. Fucking guys.”  
He stumbles back inside and Bucky gives a small laugh.  
“That guy's really homophobic.”  
“Get the fuck off me!” Bucky is shoved away and he throws one knife into the fence narrowly missing the man's head. He's charged once more, this time he plunges the knife into his opponents neck, gently shoving him away. He turns his back as the man stumbles onto the pile of trash bags.  
“All right. Have you had enough? You could've gotten blood on me. This is a nice girl. I just…I want it to go well. I like this girl.”  
He heads back inside ready to put this behind him. His eyes meet Megan's and they share a smile, calming him instantly.  
“Hey, did you have to finish  
a book on tape?”   
“No, sorry. Had to kill somebody in the parking lot.”  
“Ah. Some asshole.”  
“Yeah, he was a real dickhead.” He takes his seat before perking up. “Hey, you mind if I come around to your side of the table?”  
*Oh, yeah. Sure.” She smiles scooting over for him to sit down. “Yep. Okay. I love it. Let's fly in the face of traditional face-to-face dining.”  
“Yeah. There's too much real estate between us.”  
She lifts her drink to her lips. “Anarchy.”  
He looks around for their water. “I'm starving.”  
“Yeah, I know.After killing that guy, you must be exhausted.”   
“Right? Let's get some food.”  
“Okay.” They order their food and continue to enjoy their date.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another look in on the bad guys, and things get interesting between Megan and the mystery dork.

*in a Victorian era house across town*  
A handsome, muscular man with slightly greying hair named Richie sits behind his desk. He looks a bit blindsided by the sudden death of his man.“I don't understand. Why would anybody kill Paco and dump his body under a bridge?”   
Von, a small, rather slimy looking man sits across from him with his equally greasy friend. “Well, to get at us, Richie. I mean, they're trying to suss us out. I think that it is this local big dick, Hector Garcia. Paco must have talked. He probably let it slip that he was helping to hide out big-money, up-north scaries.”   
A tall, short haired Canadian man standing beside the desk drops his head in despair. “Fuck.” Richie sighs at a loss as of what to do “We have to tell dad.”   
“What? We don't have to tell dad shit.” Richie is flabbergasted   
“They're still cleaning blood off the walls back at home, Von. And might I remind you  
that this was your fucking mess!” He can't even believe this is his little brother speaking. Obviously his friend agrees.   
Von's insane friend Johnny interjects. “yeah, I got an idea. There's word on a guy. Big-time hit man, wears a clown nose. Maybe he takes care of the job for us.”   
Von immediately agrees “Yeah. This. I like this.”   
Johnny continues “He makes a statement.”   
Richie is hesitant “No. I'm not hiring some straight-off-the-boat asshole to fix our problems. We're supposed to be lying low.”   
Von throws his hands up. “That's great. That's great. That's a much better fucking plan. We'll just stay locked up like a bunch of fucking rats waiting for the FBI to knock on our fucking door!” He has to pause when Richie rises to his full height and breaks a bottle on his desk. “Oh, that's great, Richie. Eight years of therapy is working out beautifully.”   
Richie inhales deeply before quickly counting in an attempt at controlling his temper “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. I apologize.   
Von rolls his eyes “I like what Johnny's saying because this guy, he's a real international contractor He's this Bruce Lee, James Bond type of bad-ass motherfucker. We get him to make a move on Garcia and we stop this shit before it starts.”   
Richie sighs in resignation. “Okay Okay. Go, uh, find your professional I'll meet with him. Okay?”   
*back at Megan's apartment*   
Bucky throws a few marshmallows into their hot chocolate. He does his signature three tone whistle as he hands her a cup. “Here you go”   
Megan smiles as she takes her mug “Thank you.”   
“So, where's Michelle?”   
“She's with a guy who doesn't wanna be in a relationship, so it's a real treat for her.”   
He hums taking a sip “Ah.”   
Megan pauses, gathering her courage before asking “What's your name?”   
He freezes “My name?”   
“Yeah. I realized I was kinda having fun not knowing, but now I think it's more weird than adorable.”   
Bucky scratches the back of his neck nervously. “Is it hot in here? I don't really like my name. I just kind of... I kinda hate it, and it makes me angry.  
I've been really honest with you about everything. It's only been a couple of days, and that's not a big accomplishment. I just don't like my name, and I don't wanna tell you. Is that okay?”   
Megan laughs at his nervousness “Okay. Weirdo. Um... how'd you do that thing in the store?”  
He gives her the cute puppy look. “What thing?”   
“You know, like, the way you move sometimes. It's like… It's like you know, um…”   
“Oh, yeah, that thing. Right. Yeah. You wanna see a trick?” He sits down his cup.   
“Okay. Is this gonna get, like, scary?” she asks nervously as he sets out a bunch of knives.   
“No scarier than usual, I don't think.”   
“There aren't usually knives.” she laughs nervously.  
“Well, first time for everything. Ever since I was a little boy,” he steps behind her holding a chef's knife as he speaks “I've had an idea. It's more of a theory really, keep up. Everything we see, like, physical things, it's all just islands, and under it, carrying it, is this sweeping current And if you pay attention, you can start to feel it.” He places the knife in her hand, keeping them in his as he moves them fluidly, changing the knife between her hands.   
“Yeah.”   
“You see how your hand moves with mine? You can feel it, right?”   
She grows slightly nervous. “Uh…”   
“That's okay. Just concentrate on the knife. Now, if we can feel the current, we can feel other things in the current. Watch the knife.” He steps in front of her still moving the knife in their hands “We can feel how the current will move them, and we can see where they'll go. It's all in the movement. You see, it pushes itself. It's easier to move with it than against it.” he tosses the knife into the air staring into her eyes as it falls. He catches it as it falls, eyes never leaving hers.  
She staggers back “Jesus Christ!”  
His eyes widen “What? What?”  
“Why the fuck would you do that?”  
“I thought you were gonna catch it.”  
Her voice raises three octaves “Catch it?!”  
“Did you see where it was gonna go?”  
“I can't catch a knife!”  
“Sure, you can.”  
“No, I can't!”  
Yes, you can.” He insists “Remember last night, we were dancing? You have an energy. You've got a knack for this.”  
She pushes her hands into her hair “Shit. This is crazy. Oh, my god. Look, I had a really nice night or whatever.”  
“I know you can feel it. You don't know how yet, but I can keep showing you.”  
“No, no. You need to leave right now.”  
“You can feel it.”  
“It doesn't matter what I feel!”  
“Megan.”  
“Yeah.” She watches nearly in slow motion as he throws a knife towards her. It flies towards her chest, beyond all belief,she sees it's current and catches it right at her collarbone.  
“Cool, right?”  
She laughs still trying to believe that she had done it. “That's so gnarly. No, no more. No more, no more. I get it. It's okay.” She waves her hands as he throws another and another and she catches them all easily “I should be so freaked out.”  
He grins proudly “Give me one of those back. Okay.”  
“Yeah.” She throws it back and he catches it easily on a spin “Yeah, baby.”  
She steps closer to him “So, it's like a pulse?”  
“Yeah, kind of. I never tried to explain it to anybody before.”  
“No?” They stand chest to chest.   
“Yeah.”  
“You never talked to anybody about it?”  
“No.”  
“Why me?”  
“Because I wanted you to know. I needed you to know. You have a... a grace. I just knew you'd understand.”  
“And that's how you knew I'd catch a knife?”  
“I didn't know you'd catch the knife. I believed you could catch the knife. I wanted you to catch the knife. There was no way I could know. You're the one who did it. You're the one who knew. Are you mad?”  
She laughs again “No. No, I'm not mad. I think I'm crazy.”  
He laughs with her “Me too.”  
She throws her arms around his neck “And also, I want you. I mean, really. I really do.”  
He nods slowly holding her waist. “I think that's doable.”  
She pushes closer to him “Shut up. I mean, immediately.” She presses her lips to his, his hands coming up to grip her waist he moves them to her room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discoveries are made, things don't exactly go as planned. For anyone.

Meghan wakes the next morning, a bright smile gracing her face. She rolls over to face Bucky who's sprawled on his stomach. She reaches up to his left shoulder seeing a scar on his back and can't stop herself from touching it. She gets up to make breakfast before stepping into the shower, Bucky steps in behind her eating a banana as she washes her long hair. He gives her a quick kiss in greeting and she smiles up at him “Hi.”  
*You come here often?”  
“Oh, you didn't like my breakfast?”  
“I gotta do this five-second stop, and then maybe we could get a little something.”  
“Okay.” she quickly agrees and the finish showering.  
They climb into his 66 convertible Ford Fairlane and he drives them down to the river. Megan turns to him.  
“It's weird. I feel like I've been in a coma with you. Like I don't remember what my life was like before three days ago.”  
“Yeah. Me too.”  
“So, when we were in bed last night…”  
He smiles interrupting her “Oh, no, it's fine. I smelled it. I know. Gumbo, hot dogs. I get it.”  
She facepalms “Oh, my god. You're such an idiot.”  
“It doesn't bother me. It's fine.”  
She shakes her head before continuing. “I... saw your, um…The scar on your back.”  
He draws a breath, he was hoping this wouldn’t happen yet. “Oh, yeah. Um, well, uh, it's a long story. I was in Serbia chasing this guy all over the tundra, and the whole area's a war zone, and I finally find the guy, and he's already dead. This is when I used to work for the corporation. The CIA, et cetera.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Anyway, a piece of ceiling tile missed my heart by about two inches Some rubble hit my back. That's what the scar is from. Hit me in the head, and they said I had brain damage. Blah, blah, blah. Doctors. Right? And an old friend of mine turned on me. That's why I blew up the building. Pretty shitty, actually. Anyway, I think it put everything into perspective. Maybe the brain damage helped. I don't know.”  
He sees a man walk onto the bridge and turns to her “Hey, there's my guy. I'll be right back. I'll finish the rest of the story.”  
“Okay.”  
“Okay? You look great.” He kisses her before leaving the car.  
He walks over to meet a man holding a manilla envelope. “Hey. You the guy?”  
“I'm a guy, sure. Yeah. Everything's in there.” He hands over the envelope.  
“Nice.”   
Out in a car, Johnny is watching through binoculars while holding a phone. “Who's that guy? Where the fuck is Richie?”   
Bucky tips his head sideways “Who hired you?”   
The man shifts uncomfortably “That's none of your business.”   
“Oh, yeah. Well, it's kind of my business.”  
Over the phone, Cleavon is losing his damn mind over his plans being shot to hell “What do you mean Richie's not there? Fucking clown nose is supposed to kill him!”  
Johnny shrugs, this should've been so easy.  
Bucky opens the envelope “Hector Garcia? Look at this guy, he looks like Serpico.”  
The man on the bridge grows nervous “What are you doing?”  
“You want me to kill Hector Garcia? That's a bit ambitious. You won't tell me who hired you to hire me to kill Hector Garcia?”   
The man is beyond done. “Fuck you, psycho.”  
“Psycho?”  
“Get the fuck out of here before this shit gets ugly. You're lucky I don't pop your ass right here.”  
“You like clowns?” Bucky quirks an eyebrow as he pulls the nose from his pocket and puts it on. He doesn't even blink as he pulls out a gun and kills the man.  
In the car, Johnny almost drops his phone. “Shit! He just fucking killed the guy. The wrong guy.”  
Bucky makes his way back to the car, he sighs as he settles into his seat, not even noticing Megan's shocked expression. “Sorry. Whew. That took a little longer than I thought.”  
“What's…”  
“Are you okay?”  
“What's…”  
“Are you upset 'cause I killed that guy? Megan, how I feel about that guy has nothing to do with how I feel about l you. Are you…”  
“Um, can I go home, please?”  
“Sh..fuudge.” his face drops but he cranks the car to take her home.  
He drives her home and Megan quickly climbs from the car and heads for the gate, deep in thought.  
He frantically moves after her “Megan, wait a second. Wait a second. Goddamnit. Hold on. Sweetheart, is...Is this a fight? You're really upset about that. Hey, monster, it's me. I'm not...I'm…I don't think before I act sometimes, but I'm not a bad person. You think bad people have the capacity to...love and stuff?”  
She raises her hands, still trying to process everything she's seen before she turns and walks away.  
“I'm sorry. You've been through a lot, and I'm…”  
“H-hold. Wait. D-d-don't go. I just wanna talk to you, that's all. Please?”  
She walks through the gate, he leans against the car as his chin dropping to his chest. He takes a shuddering breath trying to calm himself. He hopes he hasn't just ruined everything.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad guys make plans and Megan learns more about her mystery dork.

*at the mobs headquarters*  
Richie is livid, how does this stuff happen? “This is on your head. Alright, Clevon?”  
Unfortunately his idiot brother seems to have missed the point “You were supposed to do the hire yourself.”   
Richie tries to reason with his brother “Shut up for a second! Why would anybody kill our hire in the middle of public like that?”   
“You know what doesn't make any sense is you, here in your fortress.”   
“Okay, listen to me. If I'd been on that bridge, your own brother would be dead right now. Is that what you want?”   
“No.”   
Johnny finally decides to join their conversation, “I got an address. Followed him back there. He dropped off his girlfriend. Apartment number's on the back.”   
“Okay, Von. Go get 10 guys, local, then go to this girl's place. When this motherfucker shows his face, blow his face off.”   
Von gets worried “What? Ten guys?”   
Richie appears confused “Other than you and Moon. That sounds appropriate.”   
*But, Richie, what I'm trying to…”   
“No buts. Get outta here. Go.” Richie brushes them off quickly.  
*at Megan's apartment*  
Michelle knocks on Megan's door “Megan. Megan. There's two guys here from the FBI to see you. Are you in there?”  
She steps outside to talk to them, they seem very official.  
Rumlow throws an arm behind Michelle after they all sit down “Uh… His name is James Barnes. Formerly one of the world's most notorious professional killers.  
He's been in the game since he was a teenager. Trained at various privatize became a bullet-for-hire and just a meat grinder of a man. About two years ago, Barnes had a nervous breakdown and quit.”   
“He quit? Why?”   
“The guy has something close to emotions, always has. Guilt. Remorse. We're guessing these feelings just finally caught up with him.”   
“If he's not a hit man anymore, why did he kill that guy on the bridge?   
“We think he developed a kind of moral code.  
He's still notorious. People still try to hire him, but now he kills them.”  
“He kills the people who hire him?”  
“Yeah. Because murder is wrong.”   
Michelle interjects “That's insane.”   
“I would say that's a reasonable diagnosis, yes.”   
Megan pauses looking at the pictures Rumlow shows her “Is this the place where we…”   
“The restaurant, yeah. “  
“He said he killed a guy in the parking lot. I thought he was joking. I mean, how dangerous is he?”   
“Well... well, now...How dangerous? There's no kind of chart. If there was, I'd say he's near the top. He's just... gifted. Frighteningly gifted.  
NSA, Interpol, FBI have made a combined nine attempts to take him into custody in the last two years. Every direct confrontation has ended in absolute, unmitigated disaster. He dances in, a storm of bullets and chaos, and he dances out.”   
“So now what?”   
“If he makes any attempt to contact you, you call us immediately. You get it.” He tries to calm her down.   
Megan leaves and goes to her room to lay down when her phone rings.   
“Please leave a message at the tone.”   
Bucky leans against his car holding his phone “Megan, it's me. Um, I know the smart move here is to give you some time and some space, but I need to see you and I'm...I'm coming over. Okay? I'm coming over.”  
Megan listens to his message, she doesn't know whether to worry. So she decides to ask to ask the FBI   
“Hi.”   
“Hi.”   
“Everything okay?”   
“Everything is great. Okay. Do you think I'm in danger?”   
“We think he's in danger. A man he killed has a lot of dangerous people backing him up. But then so did the Pirrellos, and it didn't help them none.”   
“Who?”   
“A little syndicate in New Jersey. Drugs. Heroin mainly. Tried to hire Barnes, and he killed 'em all. Only a guy from the Cartigan family made it out. John… Tom…No. I forget his name.”  
She shakes her head “No. You misunderstand. I'm… Do you think I'm in any danger from him?”   
“Well, when you're a contract killer, you have no friends. You barely ever talk to anyone. Just spend hours in endless motels, cars, planes, just sitting there, staring at nothing. But around you, his behavior is unique. He expresses himself. Emotions. Other than that blank, happy thing he's got going on. You're the one person he's had any kind of meaningful interaction with that didn't end in a bullet. So, are you safe? Are you in danger? Well, let me put it  
to you this way… You're clearly an asset to him. Which makes you an asset to me. So you can sleep tight, Megan.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontations, explanations and insanity.

*at the mobs house*   
Steve is deeply regretting almost every choice he's made lately. He'd answered this request for gunmen because they sounded professional. This wasn't professional. “What the fuck, man?”  
Johnny hands him a bolt action single barrel shotgun “This beauty's yours.”   
“What the fuck I supposed to do with this?”   
“It's simple. Bullets come out that end. They hit people and then people die.”  
Steve shakes his head looking over the gun “This is like some world war ii-ass old shotgun. You said this guy's a supersonic psycho killer, right? You want me to go out like I'm duck hunting on this motherfucker?”   
Von throws his hands up “I'm sorry, Steve. It was the best that we could do on short notice. He has no idea we're coming. Walk up to the guy, shoot him in the face.”   
Steve is still annoyed “Seen crackheads in Brooklyn with better guns.”   
Johnny of course, has a deathwish “A cocksucker like you could do it.”   
Steve points the nearly ancient shotgun at him “You watch your fucking mouth, you blinged out, Cajun green goblin. Look at this shit. I'm like Elmer fucking Fudd, man.”   
*back at Megan's apartment*   
Rumlow is leaned against the stair railing when a grenade drops onto the steps. “Oh, really? A grenade? I taught you that one, James.”   
He reaches down to pick it up when a knife presses to his throat “Oi, mate.”   
He barely manages an “Oh, for fuck's sake.” Before he's knocked out.   
Megan hears a knock at her door and nervously answers it “Oh.”   
She opens the door as Bucky drags in an unconscious Rumlow.   
“I know, I know.” He sighs as he drags Rumlow inside & leaves him on the floor   
“Is this guy dead, or…”   
“Just unconscious.”   
“Mm-hmm.”   
“I'm really sorry.”   
“Okay.”   
“Do you have any... you have a bathtub, right?”   
Megan tries to resist her feelings “Hey, I'm not sure, um, that you should be here. 'Cause…I don't know, I feel really confused, and... like, we should probably take a break.”  
Bucky drops Rumlows leg and steps over to her “What do you m...A break?”   
“Okay.” She looks down but almost immediately jumps into his arms kissing him passionately before pushing away “Okay. No, wait, wait.”   
He shakes his head to clear it “What? What?”   
“Okay, like, this whole reverse hit man thing is like…”   
“It's weird. I know. Awkward. I kil,l a whole bunch of people.”   
“But they suck? They're, like, bad people?”   
“But that's not an excuse. I should stop.”   
“I'm just panic-rationalizing this to myself. “  
“Honey, you are, but you're doing great. Really good.”   
“Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, whatever.” she leaps back into his arms for a kiss.  
Michelle walks into the room almost tripping over the body in the floor “What the fuck?”  
Megan pulls away “Hey, Michelle. Hey, buddy.”   
“Is he dead?”   
Bucky waves his gun nonchalantly “Oh, he's just taking a nap.”   
“I can see him breathing.” Megan tries to reassure her friend.  
“What the fuck?”  
Suddenly voices come over the radio in Rumlow's pocket “You gonna take the east side, right?  
“Yeah. I see anything, I'll let you know. Shit! Shit. Hey, uh, Rumlow, look, we got trouble. Twelve uglies heading in the building right now. Rumlow? You copy?”   
Bucky looks confused “Who the hell is Rumlow?”   
“He's, uh, the FBI guy.”   
“FBI?”   
“No, no, no. That guy Rumlow”s a seriously mean bad guy. Haven't seen him in a while. He looks different every time.”   
“Who is he?”   
“It's a long story. After I left the agency he was...We used to work together. We were really close. And then I said, "I don't wanna kill people" and he was like, "you have to." He blew up a building on me in Serbia.”  
Michelle wonders what kind of twilight zone she's entered “What?”   
Megan shakes her head “So he's not with the FBI?”   
“Nooope.” he looks out the window “We're gonna be fine.”   
“Oh, James, I just…”   
“What?! What did you call me? Did you just call me…He told you my name?!” He walks over to Rumlow and kicks him repeatedly in the ribs. “Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Fucking motherfucker! That was unnecessary. I'm sorry. Let's go.” he walks back to Megan and takes her hand.  
She pulls her hand from his “No, I'm not gonna go.”   
“Wh-why not?”   
“'Cause you're a criminal, and you lied to me.”   
Michelle tries again to talk so sense into her “You can't go with him. He just killed a cop.”  
Bucky turns around to address Michelle “Shut your face. Thank you.” He turns back as Michelle keeps talking   
“no! I'm not gonna shut my face.”   
“I never lied to you. Not once. Megan. listen…”   
Megan hums “I guess...yeah, that's true. I mean, I did think you were joking, in fairness.”   
“Megan, we should call the police now.”   
“Please. I-I'm gonna shoot you in the armpit.”   
“Great, great. Can't wait.”   
“I would never do that.” He turns back to Megan wanting to assure her.   
“You brought a dead body into our home! Hello!”   
“How about if I shoot you in the eye?”   
Michelle waves a hand dismissively “I'm not talking to you right now.”   
He turns back to Megan again “I would never do that. I'm pretending. We could be dead in an hour! Megan.”   
Michelle loses her cool “Megan!” She's interrupted as Bucky grabs her hand and pushes her into the closet. “Get off of me!”   
“Live in there now, in silence.”   
Michelle continues yelling “I'm not gonna be silent?”   
Megan calls out “I'll let you out later.”   
He takes Megan's hands in his “I never lied to you. What do you want from me? I'm here. That's real.”   
“I don't know though. 'Cause you show up, and you're, like, the greatest thing ever, and then you kill people. And this guy's from the FBI, but then he's not from the FBI. And I don't know. It's just overwhelming, you know? I don't think it's healthy.”   
Michelle yells from the closet “Fuck you guys!”  
Bucky shakes his head but grabs her hands “Nobody's norm...nobody's normal. Nobody's healthy. Listen. We don't have time. So you've gotta decide now. Okay? I love you. What are you gonna do for the rest of your life? You and me. You're all I got. Am I being crazy? Am I nuts? Let's do this. This is it. Now, honey. We gotta do this now.”   
“Oh, my god, stop talking. I'm totally into it.”   
“Yeah?” He smiles hopefully   
Michelle calls from the closet “You're both fucking insane!”   
Bucky grabs Megan's hand “Let's go.” He stops at the door. “This is gonna be tough.”   
“Why?”   
“I can't kill anybody. Last time I killed  
somebody, you really freaked out.”  
“No, no, I'm fine.”  
“Okay, don't do that.”  
“Don't do what?”  
“'Cause later you'll say…”  
“I'm not doing anything.”  
“Trust me?”  
“Yes.”  
“You look hot. You look beautiful. Hold my hand.”  
“Okay.” They smile and kiss before he leads her outside.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down....

Bucky holds her hand as they run down the stairs, leaping over the railing to punch a man. He spins between two men making ones knife plunge into his associates foot.   
The next man swings his blade as Bucky drops down into a split watching as the knife narrowly misses his face and stabs into another man's ass. He's distracted momentarily by thoughts of just how badly that has to hurt.   
Bucky lifts his body in a spin. He launches up and grabs a bar, catching his thighs around an assailants neck before throwing him into Steve, almost knocking him down.   
Steve spins and hops back, landing into a fighting stance, Bucky smiles seeing the man dance slightly as he fights “nice shot! Yeah baby!” they fight briefly before Bucky grabs him and spins to throw him onto the couch. He dances as he takes out the rest of the men before he stops to face Megan.   
“You all right?” She smiles, looking amazed at him   
“Huh?”   
“How'd you do that?”   
“Some people waste time with the fighting. I skip straight to the winning.”   
“We'd better get out of here.”   
She notices Steve groggily raising the shotgun and taking aim. Unfortunately, Bucky doesn't. “Oh, my god.”   
“Fuck. Oh... eh…Fuck! Was that even a shotgun? What the hell was that? What just hit me?” He'd thrown up a hand at the last second but was still shot in the temple and all over his hand.   
Megan tries to remain calm “You okay?”   
“Fine. Fine.”   
“Is it bad?”   
“You look handsome.”   
“Thanks. How's my hair? Hey! Aah! Aah! Fuck, it hurts! Fuck, it hurts! That was great. That was really…I totally didn't see that coming. You... you really got me. What's your name?”   
“Steve.”   
Bucky groans “Too many things happening, Steve...Megan. Trying not to kill anybody. I went ADD for a sec. Why didn't you grab her? Take her hostage?”   
Steve shrugs slightly “I didn't think  
that'd be cool, man.”   
“Didn't that'd be cool? Get a load of this guy. You got talent. Why the fuck did they give you that piece of shit shotgun?”   
“I don't know.”   
Megan calls to him “Baby. We should go. Thank you for not taking me hostage.” She smiles at Steve. “Baby!”   
They run away as more people swarm the courtyard and shoot at them. Megan dodges bullets “Who the fuck are these guys now?”   
They duck behind a column as Bucky looks at her. “Seem super pissed, right?”   
“Yeah.”   
Von cries out from his hiding spot “Where the fuck is Johnny?”   
Bucky turns to Megan “I'm gonna kill one of these guys.”   
“Fine.”   
“It's the last one, I promise.”   
*No, I don't care.”   
“You say that now, but later you'll be, "why'd you have to..."   
“no, I don't care!”  
“Okay.” Bucky pops up and shoots a man between the eyes.   
Von cries out “Son of a bitch!”   
Bucky hides behind the column before yelling “Okay, fellas. So you saw that I could basically kill all of you guys from here, right? Was that dude your buddy? I mean, look at that guy. That's game over. Imagine Christmas with his parents. Maybe he's got kids.”  
Megan looks at him. “Oh, what if he's got a cat?”   
“Maybe he's got a cat.”   
Megan is amazing. “Who's gonna feed his cat?”   
“Who's gonna feed your cats? I know they're paying you, but is it worth it? We all know how this is gonna go down. No shame here. Good? Anybody?”  
One man very wisely chooses to throw down his gun and run away.   
“Hey! Where the fuck are you going? We paid you for the day!”   
“Fuck this, man!”   
*Okay. Anyone else?”   
“Go fuck yourself!”   
“Oh. That wasn't very nice.” He reaches out for a small silver table and places it in front of him. “Hey, we got some chips here. We got some pitchers of lemonade. Why don't we hang out and talk about this for a second?”   
He flips it over and sits on it, he positions her feet on the tables legs.   
“What are you doing?”   
“Just give me a little push. It's gonna be okay.” He winks at her “Ready? One, two, three.”   
She uses her legs to push him, the table slides across the concrete as he shoots each man, easily incapacitating them. Bucky stands as he puts his guns away before dancing a bit from person to person, kicking away guns   
“How you feeling, fellas? I had fun. Nobody got hurt. Well, a little hurt. You should call an ambulance.”   
He nudges one man with his boot “Hey, you. Wanna call an ambulance?” He hears Von standing and immediately turns drawing his gun.   
Von throws his hands up. “Okay, look, don't…Don't shoot. This was just a big mistake. There you go.” he tosses his gun and tries to step away but stops when Bucky speaks.   
“Have we met?”   
“Kinda.”   
“New Jersey, right? The Poconos, the Pinocchios, or something? Yeah.”   
“Th-the Pirellos.”   
“Pirellos! Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Vinnie, right?”   
“It's Von, but don't…”   
“Yeah. You were the guy hiding under the table.”   
“It was my first big gunfight. It was scary.”   
“Vinnie, what did I tell you? Stay out of trouble, right?”   
“Stay out of trouble.”   
“This isn't staying out of trouble.”   
“I'm not the one that hired you. That was my brother, Richie. He is the one that you want.”   
Bucky pulls the clown nose from his pocket and puts it on “I literally don't care.”   
He doesn't see Steve until it's too late. Johnny grabs Megan as Steve punches Bucky, knocking him to the ground. Steve steps back and Johnny pushes Megan into his arms before kicking Bucky several times until Von stops him.   
“Okay, that's enough. Get away from him.”  
“Steve, is that you? Good for you, pal. You got me again. Megan!”   
Johnny squats down and grabs the clown nose “Clown nose. Wow. That's a cute gimmick. You know, one time I was gonna wear bow ties. Then I decided to be the guy who just killed all your fuckin’ friends.”   
He tosses it back at Bucky before standing and walking over to where Steve is arguing with Von.   
“I don't get it, man. Why we taking his girl? Just shoot that motherfucker.”   
“Steve, just do what you're told. Okay? Johnny, let's go!”  
They turned to leave as Bucky calls out “Wait a second, Vinnie.”   
“You want her, you come and get her. Fremont and Oleda.”   
“This is a bad call.”   
One of the injured men reaches out to Von “Hey, what about us, man?”   
“Fuckin' bums. That's what happens when you Craigslist criminals.”  
Bucky tries to see through the blood in his eyes so he can aim “Wait a second. Bad move. Bad move, man. Bad move.”  
Before he can fire, Rumlow appears and kicks him back on the ground earning a bloody smile from Bucky. “You're awake.”   
“You having fun making a fool out of yourself, James?”   
“Don't call me that.”   
“Wh-what happened to you? You used to be like the grim reaper.” He turns to kill the men on the ground as he continues speaking.   
“I remember there was a...A guy, he was a Yakuza twat, I think. And he literally pissed himself just 'cause he heard you was on the way.”  
Bucky looks confused, there are many stories about him but that one is new. “What?”   
“Clown nose is tacky. Is there some kind of joke I'm not getting?”   
“Knock knock.”   
“Who's there?”   
“The joke you're not getting. Get it?” He laughs before spitting the blood out of his mouth.   
Rumlow however, doesn’t look amused ““That's hilarious, James. Well, now it's time to go home.”   
“You should smile more. You'd be more popular. That's a nice smile. See?”   
Rumlows partner from the NOPD runs up and draws his weapon. “Police! Put your hands where I can see 'em! Stay on the ground!”   
Rumlow speaks, forgetting to use his fake southern accent “What took you so long?”   
“I was waiting for backup. Nobody's here yet.”   
“You're here now, so relax. He's in custody.”   
The man drops his gun rising from his shooting stance. “Why are you talking like that?”   
Rumlow fires instantly before turning back to Bucky “Why is everything such a problem? Oh, bollocks.”  
Bucky is gone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things just keep getting crazier.

*at the mobs headquarters*   
Von stands outside outside arguing with Johnny.   
“It's actually a very simple plan. All right. The girl is exactly where we want her. She's in Richard's office. So the bait is set. We wait for that maniac to come here. He kills everyone  
that stands in his path. We find an excuse, any excuse, to get the fuck out of here. And then, blip-blap-blop, Richard's gone, I'm king of the castle. What doesn't make sense about this?”   
“I don't know. All of it?”   
Sam steps outside looking at Von “Richard is waiting for you.”  
Von pats him on the shoulder before heading inside “Thanks, dickhead. Peace to you too.”   
Johnny tries to follow but is stopped by Sam's hand on his chest “No. Just him.”  
Richie stands next to his desk trying to not glare at Steve. “You're telling me that you shot this fucker in the face and he just survived?”   
“It was your guys that gave me a 900-year-old fucking shotgun.”   
“Really?”   
“So with all due respect, mister, I don't understand what happened. Just give me my fucking money and I'm out the door.”   
“I apologize. What was your name again?”   
“Steve.”   
“Steve. Steve, what do you like  
on your pizza?”   
“Uh, cheese, man.”   
“Yeah?”   
“Yeah?”   
“Cheese?” Before Steve can even blink, Richie has grabbed the phone and knocked him to the floor. He beats him repeatedly as Megan looks on, unable to say anything because of the tape on her mouth. “How about some extra cheese?” He hits him one last time before holding the the phone to his ear listening for the dial tone “Still working. It's a good phone.”  
He turns to point at Von as Steve stumbles from the room “Now... you.”  
In typical fashion, Von interrupts him. “No, listen. This is what me and Johnny are gonna do. We're gonna go out there, get the word out. Then we're gonna throw up a 100-grand reward.”   
*$100,000? That's your plan?”   
“That's my plan.”   
Richie's second in command Sam adds his opinion “That's a stupid idea.”   
“Sam, what the fuck do you even do around here, man?”  
Richie considers their options “If we don't know where this guy is, no one can afford to leave this house. Honestly, I think the safe bet is to just let her go.”   
“Hmm? Let her go? Really? That's your fucking idea? You know what? You have no idea what you are doing. You have no balls, no…”  
He's cut off as Richie punches him, knocking him back to the ground as blood pours from his now broken nose. “oh, yeah?”   
“Fuck! Son of a bitch!”   
Richie kneels down, grabbing Von’s as he pulls him up close. “I'm going to work much harder to control my anger. But people are dead. The bodies are piling up and dad is kinda gonna notice. And the fault is yours, you piece of shit worm-fuck. I have been defending your worthless, coke-head ass for years...For fuckin' years. And now I realize…I was wrong. You should've died with the Pirellos.” He shoves Von back down onto the floor and walks away.   
“Fuck you, Richie!”   
Richie keeps speaking as if he'd not been interrupted “Take the girl and get the fuck out of this room. And I don't give a shit if you tell mom I beat your ass.”   
He turns to his second in command “Sam, nobody else leaves. No more fuck-ups. If that cocksucker has the balls to show up here, we hit him with everything we got.”  
Steve sighs when Johnny offers him more money to stay on for the day “Okay, okay. I lost track of my dumb decisions a long time ago.” He looks at the rifle he's been given “You guys had an automatic m-16 military issue with a laser scope, and you give me a fucking Elmer Fudd shotgun? Fuck this shit.” he shakes his head and walks away.  
Von and Johnny have moved Megan to a room downstairs and resumed their bickering. “Motherfuck, we are totally fucked. We're gonna be stuck here when that psychopath shows up.”   
Von is fussing while struggling with his m-16, he finally hands it to Johnny “Will you get this for me? I can't do it.”  
Johnny easily cocks it and hands it back before replying “Yeah, we're fucked. Big deal. You started this ride, Von. You're the one who pushed the shit ball rolling down the hill.”   
“Seriously?”   
“Mmm.”   
“Will you please shut the fuck up?”  
Johnny stands to his full height to look down at Von. “Watch your mouth with me, man.”   
Von steps closer so their noses nearly touch “Or what?”   
“Don't let this become un-fun. It's supposed to be fun, right? Or I get a baaaad attitude.”   
“Who the fuck do you think you are?”   
“I'm fucking Johnny Moon.”  
Megan tried, she really did but she can't stop the laugh that huffs out behind that tape covering her mouth and catches their attention.   
“What?”   
“Okay. You wanna have some fun?”   
“Yeah.”   
They step closer to her “You wanna have some fun? What's that, baby? I couldn't hear you under there.”   
Von ripes the tape from her face causing her to cry out “ah fu-uck!”   
She shakes her head before smirking up at them. “Okay. This is you guys. "Oh, no! He's gonna come and kill us!" "I'm Johnny moon! I love you, Von!" "I love you too. Wanna  
go on a camping trip?" "Oh, anywhere with you, buddy." She continues making fun of them and Von laughs.   
“I like this bitch. So, why don't you tell me. What's it like?”  
She scoffs “Having an IQ over 17?”   
“Dating a serial killer.”   
“Now, I gotta slow you down right there for a second, 'cause to be honest, I...I don't understand your plan. Like, is it a "get killed" plan? Is it, like, a plan to get killed? Like an elaborate sort of suicide pact?”   
She's interrupted when Von backhands her. “Stings, right?”   
She laughs incredulously “Are you stupid? You're so fucked. When he gets here, you better hope you're long gone. Because he's going to kill you. And if he doesn't, I will.”   
“You're gonna kill me? You are?”   
“Well, they tell me successful people set achievable goals, so…”   
Von plants his foot on the chair and shoves it hard enough so that it rolls and slams into the wall “ How does it feel now? Huh, bitch?”   
Her head was down as she caught her breath, she laughs lifting her head slowly to give him a bloody smile “I feel...I feel motivated.” She continues laughing to the horror of the two thugs who leave the room to join the rest of the gang.


	14. Chapter 14

Steve is livid, he ain't got the patience for this. He's outside eating gummy bears as he rolls a joint. He bitches aloud to himself “Motherfuckers... "oh, do this, Steve . Do that, Steve . Come on, Steve , you can handle it. Take the fucked-up shotgun."  
He hears a whistle and turns to see Bucky sitting on the fence wearing a clown nose, looking like he just stepped off of the set of a vaudeville show.   
Bucky smiles brightly as he hops down from the fence “Hey, what's going on?” Steve reaches for his weapon before Bucky stops so he steps back raising his hands. “Uh-uh. Ooh, that looks good.” He nods towards the joint Steve is smoking.   
“How many guys inside?”   
“Got fucking Von, Johnny, Sam, Richie. So that's four. Plus six other motherfuckers with automatic weapons, man.”   
Bucky reaches for Steve 's rifle “May I?”   
Steve shrugs so Bucky takes the gun and proceeds to shoot all over the wall. He giggles when he hears the shouting coming from inside. “That oughta stir 'em up. What happened to your face?”   
“Fucking asshole Richie beat me with a phone.”   
“Get outta town!”   
“I'm serious, man. Motherfucker beat me with a phone.”   
“What a jerk. Yeah. Can I have some  
of these gummy bears? I like the green ones.”   
“Help yourself. That's funny. I hate the fucking green ones.”   
“Really? Perfect. You know what I mean? Will I see you inside?”   
“That's what they pay me for.”   
“Good luck, buddy.”   
“This fucking guy is crazy.” Steve watches as the man strolls into the house without a care in the world.  
Inside, Sam is directing people on where they'll be stationed. “Von, go to Richard's office and take him down  
in the basement. You, upstairs.” Johnny rolls his eyes but reluctantly heads up stairs.   
Von bursts into Richies office “Don't worry, Richie. Everything's under control.” Suddenly the room erupts in a storm of bullets before Bucky crashes through the window.   
He easily takes out all of the guards leaving on Richie and Von. Von struggles with his rifle, again “Motherfucker.”   
Bucky stares at him for a second.   
“What's going on? Having a hard time with that?”   
“I'm used to a smaller caliber gun than this.”   
“let me take a look at it. It's a nice gun.”   
“Thanks.”   
He fixes the gun before acting like he's going to hand it back. “There you go. You want your gun back? Do you want it back?” He keeps jerking the gun back.   
“Please?”   
“Psych.” He laughs before shooting Von in the foot.   
“Son of a bitch, man! My foot!” Von leans against the wall, he smiles when Bucky points his gun directly in Richie's face.   
“Where's Megan?”   
“Fuck you.” Richie closes his eyes waiting for the shot, he doesn't see Von grinning at him. But then Bucky shrugs and puts his gun away.   
“All right, I'll find her myself.”   
*What? Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Aren't you gonna kill him?”   
“What?”   
“You know, do your thing with the thing that you do?”   
“What?”   
“The hit man thing where they try to hire you and then you kill them out of some fucking misguided moral fucking purpose you have... that crazy bullshit.”   
“No, no. I promised my girlfriend. I don't do that anymore.”   
This time it's Vons turn to be confused. “What?”   
“Yeah. You ever met a girl and it's just like…You can't eat, you can't stop thinking about her.”   
“Dude, spare me the bullshit. I brought you all the way here to kill him! And you tell me that you're not killing anymore? What the fuck?”   
“I'm sorry, man. I don't mean to let you down. I have no desire to kill you or your brother. I'm just here to pick up my girlfriend.”   
Von doesn't notice but Richie has risen from his chair, he looks rather menacing as he leans on his desk, knuckles turned white at the pressure.   
“What the fuck, Clevon?”   
“Shut the fuck up, Richie!” He turns back to Bucky, “You're letting me down in a big way!”   
“I think you two have some issues to talk about. I'm just gonna leave you to it.”   
He backs away slowly, he sits the rifle down before leaving the room thinking to himself “awkward”   
Inside the room, Von and Richie have both run for the gun. Von reaches it first but Richie reaches around him and tries to wrestle it away.   
“Richie, get off!”   
“Give me that... ow! Hey! What's with you and the biting?” He stumbles back looking at his hand when two bullets pierce his chest. He looks up to see Von smiling maniacally “Fuck.”   
He drops to the ground with a large thud.   
Bucky begins searching the house when Sam bursts into the room “Hey, what's happening? Gorgeous.”  
He watches as Sam does several kicks and punches before dropping into a fighting stance.   
“Okay. What are you doing? What is  
that, like TAE Kwon do or something?”   
“It's karate.”   
“The thing is, I don't do karate. So that's not fair.”   
“You got a fucking gun in your hand.”   
“All right, well, I'll tell you what. If I promise to put the gun down, will you not use karate?”   
“Okay.”   
“All right, I'm gonna put the gun down. We're all good.” He places it down right before Sam lands a kick to his chest “Ow! Fuck! That was karate! That's definitely karate! Wait a sec! Wait a second!” He grabs his gun at the same time Sam spins to grab a grenade, he rips out the pin and they immediately freeze. “Oh-ho-ho! That's a grenade. What's the plan here? It's a small room.”   
“Th-this is bad.” Sam is shaking, he's so scared.   
“It's real bad. Why do you have a grenade? Never mind.”   
“I don't wanna die.”   
“Yeah. Okay, hold on a second. Just stay still. Okay. Just breathe. Just breathe. Now you're making me nervous. Okay, you're shaking a little bit. Shh. Be careful. Be careful.”   
He carefully grabs the pin and holds Sam's hands in his. “We're gonna do this together. Ready? One, two, three.”   
He carefully sets the pin in place. “There we go. Yeah. We did that. Why don't you sit down? Go ahead, sit down. Relax. Just breathe. Out through the nose, in through the mouth.” he rests his hand on Sam's shoulder right as Steve steps into the doorway. “Freeze!”   
“Hey! Whoa! Steve ! Look at you.  
That's my man Steve .”   
Sam waves a hand “What's happening?”   
“Well, there's no way I could get my gun. You got a little red dot on my heart. I mean, I don't think I could. Could I?”   
He draws his gun quickly as Steve moves his aim to Bucky's head. “Hey. Your bosses are in the other room trying to kill each other. Do you hate me? You wanna kill me? Is that important to you? It's not worth it to me. I'm just here to pick up my girlfriend. So you know what? Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna put my gun down. Okay? What's the move, Steve ?”   
He sets his guns down and Steve makes the decision to lower his weapon.   
“You know what? I like you more than  
those motherfuckers anyway, man.”   
Bucky laughs “I like you too, man. Hey, you know Sam? Sam, Steve .”   
“Yeah. We met at the office.”   
“Sam is having a hard day. Maybe you could look after him for a while. I gotta go. I'll see you.” He scoots past Steve and continues his search for Megan.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Megan are reunited, but are quickly separated when things take a turn for the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does describe violence. If it's not something you can read, I completely understand.

Bucky searches through the house, he quickly enters a room and checks around before turning to Megan who yells through the tape “Hey!”  
He does a little tap dance ending with a spin and a big smile “Hey, monster.”   
“Hi, honey.”   
He quickly rips off the tape “Oww!”   
“Sorry. That was thoughtless. Terribly sorry.” He stands with his hands on his hips smiling down at her.   
“What? What are you waiting for?”   
“Gosh, you're cute.”   
“You just like me tied up. You pervert.”   
“It's true.”   
“Yes, I see it now.”   
“It's true. Okay. Get in here.”   
“Come here. Mine now.” She grins as she bites the clown nose, removing it from his face.   
“Like that?”   
“It's mine now.”   
He unties her and leads her outside “Why are we going so slowly?”   
“I'm a little afraid of that guy with the tank top.”   
“Oh, Johnny moon?”   
“Yeah. Is that his name?” he looks back at her raising an eyebrow.   
“I know. It's so stupid.”   
“Ridiculous. You know, he spit on my face.”   
“What?”   
“That's not the worst of it. He made fun of my nose.” he pouts   
“Oh, no. I like how the nose looks.”   
“You do?” He gives her an adorable look, it reminds her of a puppy.   
“Yeah, 'cause it's like...it feels like everybody's having a good time.”   
“Yeah, well, ideally they are, you know, but…” he's knocked to the ground when Rumlow appears with a rifle shooting him with a large bean bag. “Oh!” He falls down the stairs.   
“Baby. Oh, my god. Are you okay?” She runs to kneel by his side before he begins pushing her away.   
“Knock it off, James.”   
“Get out! Get outta here! Get out! Run!” He urges her to leave and she finally listens and turns to run, only to end up in Johnny's arms as he drags her into the house.   
Rumlow advanced on Bucky as he uses the car behind him to stand up.   
“All right, wait a second. Let's talk about this. Come on.”   
Johnny and Megan circle each other slowly. “He must really like you.”   
“I sure hope so, 'cause otherwise coming to save me and killing all these guys is sending some seriously mixed messages.”  
She slips in a puddle of blood and falls to the floor drawing a large laugh from Johnny “God, can you not laugh right now? I've got blood in my ass crack and my face hurts from you guys hitting me. You're being a real ass, you know.”   
She scoots back as he advances, ending uo on the steps as he kneels between her ankles   
“You know, it's funny, you being down there and me up here. It reminds me of when I was little. There was this kid, Eric.”   
Megan rolls her eyes “This is gonna be a great story, I can tell.”   
“No, no. Now, this kid, he would pick on me every day, man. He would scrunch up my lunch bag every day. And I thought, you know, that kid, he's bigger than me. He's stronger than me. But... and you're gonna like this. He had this turtle. The most important part is, he loved this turtle. And I thought, you know, I'm bigger than a turtle. I'm stronger than a turtle. And you know the sound a turtle makes when you crush it?” He leans over her, bringing his lips close to her ear, making a high pitched whine. “Screams.” he leans back to look at her “Now you're catching my drift, right? Clown nose shows up, he sees you bleeding out, gets him thrown off his game. Squish. Johnny Moon wins. Done. You know, truth is, it wasn't about Eric. Truth is...You know...I just love crushing turtles.”  
Outside, Rumlow has pulled out a baton and is swinging it at Bucky who is dodging the blows. He stumbles into several potted plants, grunting as they crumble from the impact.   
Back inside the house, Johnny stands allowing Megan to get up and they circle each other once again.   
He pulls out a knife and makes a wide slash towards her face, Megan watches as everything seems to slow down, she sees the current rippling through the air and slowly moves out of its path.   
She dodges a second stab, this time spinning to slam the back of her hand into Johnny's face causing him to stumble “Aah! Oww! Fuck! Aah! Ow! Ow! You mother…” he tries to swing again but misses, he's growing angry which is making him sloppy “Just fuckin' die.” He grinds out before Megan grabs a statuette and slams it into his cheek, Johnny stumbles back, landing hard on the stairs.   
Megan launches herself onto his lap and proceeds to bash his face in with the statuette. “I like turtles, you dick!”   
She leans over him catching her breath, she slides from his lap right back into the puddle of blood and laughs to herself. “Whoa!”   
She hears a phone ring from Johnny's pocket and answers Vons call “Johnny, Richie's dead!”   
She snorts out a laugh “The guy you're calling is dead. Sorry.”   
Von begins yelling “What? Hello? Hello!”   
Megan laughs to herself as she drops the phone and wipes her hands “Super-good. Super-good.”   
She stands and goes to search through the house.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion and a look at the future.

Rumlow kicks Bucky in the chest, sending him falling down the stone steps “It's not that I'm angry with you. It's just that I'm disappointed. I'm gonna take you out into the desert, I'm gonna dose you up on something really, really special and we're gonna reprogram this shit out of your brain.   
As he speaks, he leans to cuff Bucky, unfortunately for him, Bucky is rather fast “Too late for that.” Bucky laughs as he attaches the other cuff to Rumlows wrist, he pops up grinning and wearing the clown nose.   
Rumlow sighs “This is bad.”   
Megan is inside and soon finds herself in a basement hallway “Babe? You here?*   
She rounds a corner and comes face to face with Von “Where the fuck is Johnny? And why do you have his phone?”   
Megan can't help but laugh “Okay, he told me to tell you that he, um, wanted to go to Canada to visit his girlfriend. They met online. She designs jewelry. She seems super-sweet.”   
He points his gun at her face “Shut the fuck up. Where is he?”   
She raises her hands “Okay. Okay. I did kill him. I bashed him over the head with a statue. And you're next.”   
He cocks the pistol “No, you... you're lying. You're lying!” In his anger, he jerks accidentally firing right at Megan's face. She easily dodges the bullet and Von's eyes grow wide.  
She touches the side of her head where the bullet grazed her “Shit.”   
Without missing a beat, she grabs ahold of the gun in Von's outstretched hand and flips it into her own before shooting a hole right through his hand. He falls back against the wall clutching his hand to his chest. “Oh, fuck! You fucking bitch!”   
Megan barks out a laugh “Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt?”   
“Fuck! My fucking hand!”   
Megan paces back and forth as she yells. “I told you this would happen! I told you, but you didn't listen to me! Nobody listens to me! God! I am a T. Rex! I am invincible!” without a second thought, she raises the pistol and fires three bullets, hitting Von square in the chest. He drops down to the ground as he dies.   
Outside, Bucky and Rumlow have wound up on the ground, Rumlow not being as graceful when handcuffed to another person. “Oh, well done James. This is great. Thanks for this.” he pulls out a pistol, Bucky immediately flips it into his hand and Rumlow grabs his other pistol. They lay there pointing the guns at each other.   
“Yeah? This isn't exactly how I saw the day going.”   
“Really?”   
“I promised Megan I wouldn't kill anybody.”   
“Oh, well, that's a relief. I'll tell you what, James. I might not be the good guy or whatever, but it takes one to know one. I mean, look at you. You look like a fucking psychopath right now. You think you're just gonna walk out of this life and settle down? You'll never be normal.”   
Bucky turns his pistol and fires through the cuff, releasing his wrist. He stands and walks up the steps to find Megan. “Good.”  
Rumlow calls after him “Hey! Hey!”   
Bucky mumbles as he walks away “Who the fuck wants to be normal anyway?”   
“Oi, turn around, you daft cunt! James! You're gonna make me shoot you in the back?”   
Bucky sighs as he calls over his shoulder “The truth is, you got boring, Rumlow.” He keeps his back turned as Rumlow prepares to fire, he jerks when he hears the shot and no pain comes.   
He spins around seeing Steve lowering his rifle “Hey,Sateve!”   
“You all right, buddy?”   
“Yeah, I'm okay now. Look at you, man. The bounty on Rumlow's, like, $5 million.”   
“What? This motherfucker worth $5 million? I'm rich, bitch!”   
“Hey, you got any green ones?”   
“I saved a couple for you.” He tosses the bag up to Bucky who instantly digs in. “Thanks, man.”   
“Hey, dancer.”   
“Yeah?”   
“Thank you.”   
“Hey, right on.” He raises his fist as the front door opens and Megan walks out into the pouring rain. She giggles “Hey, dummy.”   
“Hey, baby.”   
“You're all wet.”   
“I am wet.”   
“I missed you.”   
“I missed you.”   
She notices the gummy bears and grins “Oh, where did you get these?”   
“I got 'em from Steve.”   
She looks around before she spots him “Steve?”   
“Hey, Steve. You know Steve?” He looks into her eyes “Baby, your pupils are super-dilated.”   
“Really?”   
“Did you get shot in the face?”  
She laughs hard “Yeah. I got shot in the face.”   
His eyebrows shoot up “You did?”   
“Yeah.”   
“Who did that? I'll bang him.”   
“No, I banged him. I banged him, and I banged the other guy, yeah. I banged them right in their faces.” She grins proudly.   
“You banged two guys?”   
“I banged two guys!”   
“That's a-list killing, Megan. That's a clean sweep. You got all the main bad guys.”   
“Yeah?”   
“Yeah.”   
“Well, you know, I... I make shit happen. Confidence.”   
“Yeah, confidence. Fucking T-Rex.”   
She laughs clawing at him playfully “Rrrr!”   
He kisses her softly “Hey, listen. We gotta go to the hospital real bad. Okay.”   
“Okay. Let's go. Let's go. You're right.”   
“Hey, Steve, can you give us a ride?”   
*6 months later*   
Bucky & Megan hold hands as they walk through an outdoor restaurant in China. He sets down their food before asking. “Where do you wanna go first?”   
“Don't make me choose. You know I'm bad at this. I'm so indecisive, it's like torture.”   
“Okay. I'll tell you what. I got a plan.”   
“Oh, yeah?”   
“Jalapeño, we go to Thailand for the Allosaurus dig. Lime, we go to Brazil  
for the pterodactyls. Whichever one you pick, that's the one you really wanted.” He takes two small cups, he sets a lime under one and a jalapeño under the other and mixes them up.   
*100 yards away, a man speaks into a radio*   
“Target’s in sight. Snatch and grab as soon as they leave the market. Copy that. Alpha team in position.”   
“Oh! Jalapeno! I'm really happy. I wanted it to be the Jalapeno.”   
“Thailand?”   
“Yeah!”   
“Thailand it is.” Bucky picks up the tray and pulls a red marker from his pocket and begins writing something.   
“He's got nowhere to go. Echo team, prepare for lockdown. Target has something in his hand. Wait. Could be a weapon. What's he doing? Echo team, what can you see? What's he doing? We've lost visual contact with the female target. We've been spotted. Shit!”   
Bucky holds up the tray, he's written on it ‘m”where's the girl?”   
“Where's the girl? Who's got eyes on the girl?”   
Megan appears in front of the would be sniper wearing cat ears as she points a gun at his head.   
“Oh, shit.”   
“Hey. Whatcha you looking at?” She smiles as she squeezes the trigger.


	17. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has just about nothing to do with the story. Wade's just an asshole who showed up around chapter 4 and demanded he be put in the story. So enjoy some surprise Deadpool showing up to harass the poor author.

*in a small apartment in New York*  
The screen goes black before the credits roll. Deadpool dramatically reads the credits as they show up.  
“Bucky Barnes, played by Sebastian Stan! Megan played by...Megan? What the shit?!! Steve played by Chris Evans. He's gorgeous. Richie played by Anson Mount ooo I'd like to mount him. Sam played by Anthony Mackie. Michelle played by Michelle?!! What the fuck Maggie, why you couldn't give em last names?!!!”  
The exhausted author throws her hands into the air  
“Oh I don't know Wade, maybe I didn't want to expose my friends first AND last names to tumblr! You've been on that hellsite, you know exactly what it's like.”  
Wade huffs “they need last names, you owe me woman!!! You already didn't put me in the story.”  
“You're the whole reason there's a fucking epilogue Wade! That's what I'm doing now!!!”  
Wade shoots off of the couch “you owe me a fic woman!” He leans over touching their noses together.  
“Wade, I have put you in 4 stories now, when is it going to be enough?”  
“When it's an epic telling of my shenanigans & I get to be both hero and villain!!”  
“That doesn't make any sense Wade, how am I supposed to do that?”  
“You'd sure as fuck do it for Loki!”  
Maggie drops back with a groan “fiiiine! Suz plot bunnied me anyway, I'll see what I can do.”  
“Thank ya babe. You're the fucking best.”  
“Yeah yeah, fuck off Wade.”  
“Oh I will and to make sure you keep your word, I'm taking this as collateral.”  
He grabs the precious Kylo-ren blanket and rips it from her grasp. He quickly runs but doesn't get far before Maggie launches at him & they tumble out of sight still swearing at each other.


End file.
